Our natural instinct is to argue when we disagree with someone. We want to be right. We want to make sure that they know they’re wrong and we’re right. We want to have credit for being right. But, in a world where everyone’s out for their own interests, we’ll be arguing 24/7 for the rest of our lives if we think of it that way.
One of the biggest points from Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, is that we should not argue. Never argue. Obviously, when you’re debating someone you are arguing, but you still don’t say all the time, “No. You’re wrong. I got the right idea…….”
Not saying that the other person is wrong is the biggest step towards influencing someone towards your way of thinking. This is because you have not immediately put the other person on the defensive. You are open to their ideas, even if you don’t agree with them. Continue reading